What Dads Really Want for Father’s Day and How to Give It to Them

 

There is no shortage of articles telling you what to do for Father’s Day. Where to eat, what cheesy gift to buy and how to make it memorable, so I thought that instead of doing another list, I would ask the experts, two Dads, what they really wanted for Father’s Day. Adam from Dada Rocks and Rodney from Daddy is an Idiot are here to give us mamas some ideas on how we should really be spending their holiday.

 

Adam Cohen Adam – Dada Rocks

The question at hand is what do I really want for father's day… I gotta say a lil loving wouldn't hurt :P but thats gotta be done either before the kid wakes up or after he goes to sleep. The important part

is what do I want for father's day with the kid in mind. I'm always one that loves and event and loves to create tradition. I'm not one of those jump out a flying plane type guys or let me try to eat something different where ever I go out to eat – I'm that dude that finds a good place to eat, finds a dish I like and will eat the same thing every time I go to that restaurant. I want a BBQ with my family, time to play with my kids without being told that something around the house needs to be cleaned up or put away. When that's all said and done I want be able to watch whatever I want on TV without being told

that something like Real Housewives of so and so is on… I don't need a gift – I need a memory (it also helps if that lil loving was memorable too :P)

 

Rodney Rodney – Daddy is an Idiot

I want my wife to attack me.  Not, like, with a katana, or anything.  But for sex.   Like she used to.  And I want gluten-free pancakes.  The special kind she makes with the pumpkin butter or blueberry jelly inside.   With maybe some scrambled eggs.  In bed.  I need to be clear on that.  I would like to be in bed while I am eating my special pancakes.   As for the sex, well, she is welcome to stalk and hunt me as she deems fit.  But know, going in, that things could get messy stacking both of those activities at once.

 

Since this is my article and I can pretty much do what I want with it, I’ll ask myself the question:  Is there anything else?  I believe there is.

 

I want everyone at BP to work around the clock.  No more rest.  Sleep was for before they f**ked up the planet.  And until they stop the oil leak, I want all of the executives to snorkel 24/7 around Venice, Louisiana, with no bathroom breaks.  They go in the water and don’t come out until I say so.

 

I want someone to clean Williamsburg.  Don’t just offer them soap.  Insist on it.

 

I want more sleep.  More chocolate.  Someone to put away the laundry.  I want to lose 10 lbs. without doing anything.  I want people with iPhones to put them in their f**king pocket for a change.  I want lobster, good coffee, and maybe some landlords who aren’t crazy.  I think it’d be nice if someone at the Village Voice would write a Movie Review that was in plain English and easy to understand.  If the people involved in the Gardiner Heist would return what they took.  That guy at work would wear shoes.  Your flip-flops suck and are inappropriate.

 

But mostly, if I could find the time to put all of my music in one folder on one disk drive on one computer, I would be a happy man. But more so if I had had sex.